What to Expect When You're Expecting (To Be a Step-Mom)

Congratulations! You've decided to become a stepmom. Whether that means you've moved in with your partner, you're engaged, or you're married, you are about to start a crazy-wonderful-frustrating-awesome journey. Whether your step children are 2 or 22, whether they live with you or with their biological mom, you're taking on a new family and new opportunities. There is nothing quite like being a stepmom, and you're taking on a new role that can be challenging at times. Here are some things to expect as you become a stepmom.

1. This role will push you and challenge you in ways you've never been challenged before.

2. You may have some (or a lot of) disappointment as a newlywed when you don't have time alone with your spouse or you aren't their only priority.

3. There will be conflict between you, your partner, and the biological mom. You'll have ideas, traditions, rules, etc that your co-parents don't like, and this will cause issues between you.

4. People will say hurtful things like "You knew what you were getting into". (Which is not true, because in life we never really know what we're getting into.)

5. You will wonder if being in this relationship with your partner is worth it.

6. You will learn more about yourself, how strong you are, what's important to you, how you need to let go of things that aren't serving you anymore, and what you need to do for yourself to make you happy.

7. You may connect with your step children and be another mom to them. You may not. Either way is fine.

8. This is going to be a learning process as long as you do it. You'll feel like you're on top of things with your step children or your partner, then things will shift and you'll have to adjust again.

9. You HAVE to take care of yourself. Self-care is an overused phrase right now, but it's important because we women aren't doing enough of it.

10. Find or create a support group. You're going to need women who understand your pain, your frustration, your joys, and your heartaches.

What would you add to this list? What have you learned as a stepmom that you want to share with others?

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